Chips' Fun House ~ View topic

An Irish guy sits at the bar, all depressed.
The bartender asks the guy, whats the matter......

"You see the fence all around the town? I built the whole thing with my bare hands. But, did ya ever here," there goes Murphy, the Fence Builder"..... sadly, no."

"You see all the trees planted in town? Planted each ones of them with my bare hands. But, do you ever hear. "There goes Murphy, the Tree Planter". Nope, ya never do.

But....ya get caught humping just 1 goat.......

I'll take this a "a guy walks into a bar joke" thread
so...

An Irish guy walks out of a bar..

get it? rofl what a joke

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

.....one less drunk.

Two guys walk into a bar.
You'd think the second one would duck.

Wat chu talkin 'bout Toughy!?

Hey I resemble this thread!!!!!!! Twisted Evil

A Germany, a Scotsman, and an Irish man are sitting in a bar having a pint.
A fly lands in the Germans drink. He sees this and pours the drink out and orders another drink from the bar and drinks it.
Another fly lands in the Scot's drink. The Scot sees this and picks the fly out of the beer. He says to the other "No need to waste good beer." and drinks it down.
All of a sudden a fly lands in the Irishman's drink. The other two look an as the Irishman picks out the fly. The Irishman them starts to shake the fly and yells at him "Spit my beer out you dirty bastard!!!!!!!" Laughing

Whats the difference between the Scottish and the Irish?

The Scots are just Irish that couldnt make good Whiskey! Very Happy

Last.FM · Forum Sniper Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 696

An Orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender asks, "Hey! Where did you get that?"

The parrot replies, "Durotar, they're all over the place."

Last.FM · Forum Sniper Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 696

Wow, this is SO not going to be about Irish Jokes, huh.

Nice.

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Texan are all out on a boat fishing.
The Russian stands up reaches in his parka, pulls out a huge bottle of vodka, takes the lid off, takes a massive swig, swishes it around in his mouth, spits it out, then thumps his chest and boasts, "In Russia ve have ze lots vodka, vat ve dont drink ve can vaste, ve have ze plenty!"

Well the Mexican looks at him stands up reaches in his poncho, pulls out a huge bottle of tequila, takes the lid off, takes a massive swig, swishes it around in his mouth, spits it out, then proudly says, "Amigos in Mehico we have lots tequila, el mucho gusto, what we dont drink we can waste, no problemo!"

At this point they both look at the Texan who is sitting there watching the whole thing. So he stands up, reaches into his duster, pulls out a pint of Jack Daniels, takes the lid off gingerly, takes a small swig, swishes it around in his mouth, swallows it, puts the lid back on the bottle, puts it back into his pocket, tips his cowboy hat at them then sits back down.

Well the Russian and Mexican are totally taken aback by his actions so the Russian asks the Texan, "Comrade!...vy do you not throw away ze alcohol such as ve do? Do you not have ze plenty in Texas to vaste like that?" The Texan replies, "No sir pardner! We hang on to as much of this as we can ya'll!" So the Russian asks him, "Vell zen comrade...vat do you have ze plenty of in ze Texas you can vaste like that?".......so the Texan stands up...thinks for a moment...reaches over an grabs the Mexican and tosses him overboard.

Wink

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH......good one Mike ^5