Chips' Fun House ~ View topic

*Last edited by gilliam on Sun Jul 30, 2006 8:53 pm; edited 2 times in total*

I worked on my manager's computer a while back. While waiting for an operation to complete, I was idly spinning the cursor around the screen, as many do. My manager asked why techs often seem to do that.

"Oh," I said, "sometimes you have to spin the mouse around in a clockwise direction to wind it up. You don't have to do it very often, but we usually do it while we're working on other things to save time."

The manager swallowed the story, and my co-workers and I had a good chuckle about it later.

A few days later, another of our guys was working on the same machine. The manager caught him moving the cursor around while he was waiting on the computer to finish something.

"Why are you spinning the cursor counterclockwise?" the manager asked.

Without missing a beat, he replied, "Every so often, they get wound up too tight, and you have to unwind them."

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

I was interning at a local ISP and every once in a while got to take a tech support call. I probably only took about five at the most. Here's the best one.

* Tech Support: "Tech support."
* Customer: "Yeah, every time I get on the Internet and leave my computer, I get disconnected."
* Tech Support: "How long are you away from your computer?"
* Customer: "About 10-20 minutes."
* Tech Support: "Sir, if you're idle for more than 15 minutes, we disconnect you."
* Customer: "Well don't disconnect me!"
* Tech Support: "It's not us, sir -- it's the servers, they do it automatically."
* Customer: "Change it, then."
* Tech Support: "I can't."
* Customer: "Yes you can!"
* Tech Support: "Sir, I'm not allowed to."
* Customer: "I pay for this service, and dammit, you're going to change it!"
* Tech Support: "Sir, I'm not allowed to change it. Bottom line."
* Customer: "And why not!?"
* Tech Support: "Because I'm not the administrator."
* Customer: "Well tell him to change it!"
* Tech Support: "I can't do that either. The administrator hates me."
* Customer: "Why?"
* Tech Support: "Because I won our last Nerf tournament."
* Customer: "Nerf tournament?! I pay you guys to play with toys?"
* Tech Support: "We do it in our spare time."
* Customer: "I want to talk to your supervisor!"
* Tech Support: "Sorry, but my supervisor is the administrator, and he's busy."
* Customer: "Well, I'm going to rat you out about your little Nerf gun secret!"
* Tech Support: "Tell the owner -- it'll give him more of a reason to come down here to play with us."

He hung up.

True story about my Grandma and her computer.

Since she is lousy with computers all she knows is too send emails and save them on to her computer. After about five years of doing this she found out that her hard drive is full. So she threw her computer out and bought a new one. She bought a 2000 dollar computer and paid people to set it up for her for example she paid someone 8 dollars to plug her mouse in. When I heard about this I laughed so hard.

Wow, Gill thanks a lot for giving something for me to waste the next 2 hours of my life reading. I hope you're proud of yourself.

It took you 2 hours to read that? Confused

Do you have the box your computer came in? Laughing

lol this one was great:

During 12th grade, I read up a book called "Stupid Mac Tricks." One of the tricks in it was how to replace the Mac's startup screen. As a joke, I made a graphic of a black-bordered white box with a gray background. The text in the box read, "This computer will self-destruct in ten seconds. Thank you, Apple Computer Co." I made this the startup screen for a computer in my high school's computer lab.

The next day an "out of order" sign was taped to the monitor. The lab attendants usually wrote the reason on the bottom edge of the paper, so I leaned in to read what had been written there. It said, "Will self-destruct."

--------
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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My step-mom used to answer tech support for Dell...

Stepmom: Tech support.
Customer: Hi, um, My computer wont turn on...I keep puching the power button but it wont start up.

SM: Have you checked to make sure the powersupply is on?
C: Oh, no...let me check...

SM: ........
C: ........

SM: Ma'am?
C: Yes sorry, I'm looking for a flashlight.

SM: ?
C: The power went out and I'm having trouble seeing the back of my computer...........

I don't reemeber the exact stories, but I have two I picked up about a decade ago. One is a woman who wonders why the computers footpeddle (think of a sewing machine peddel) is so small and why it doesn't seem to do much .... the Tech guy had to explain that it was a mouse. Another was about a guy who got angry because his retractable cup holder kept snapping off when he put heavy cups on it, and he just kept buying more ignoring the title of the box that read "CD-ROM drive"

I worked in a Computer Renisance back in 99. On slow days, my boss would always whine about no bussiness. About once a month on slow days he would do a rain dance. Not anything ritualistic, just something silly to waste time. But it wasn't to be taken too lightly ... in the era of modem only internet and AOL, rain storms usually have lightning ... lightning hits telephone poles .... computer modems blow up .... we get someone coming in asking us to replace the modem the next day.

I remember reading that some guy, who had no expirience of building computers, decided to make his computer apart to install a new videocard and hard drive onto his new computer.

So, this guy was a certified brain-surgeon, a practical genius, a real someone. With the help of his friend, a techie (and the poster of this story), he took apart the computer, and replaced the videocard. Suddenly, the beeper on the friend's belt goes off, and he has to leave. So, this surgeon is left with a set of very general instructions, his computer, and a few tools. He quickly goes to work, trying to install the HDD with no real knowledge on how to.

So, friend comes back from his call, and he finds his friend, who apparently got the job done. He inspects the work, and finds that it's perfectly done! A guy with no know-how, did it without hassle! Feeling very triumphant, the guy tries to turn it on.
Nothing.
He becomes enraged, and kicks a hole in the motherboard.
The techie, curious to why it didn't work, found that the power cord was unplugged.

^^ that lowered my iq to the negatives...

What IQ?