Chips' Fun House ~ View topic

Sorry ive been afk for a while(if any one even noticed???). I tore a muscle in my right elbow three weeks back and then went on vacation last week just got back this past sunday..TFC was the first game i played in almost 2 weeks. Im thinking of moving where I vistied my family..Indiana, they live in Converse. I was thinking of moving there or Marion wich is only like 10 mins from Converse, time will tell. Im really sick of this area and would love to start over some where new. Im starting to think Im never going to be happy here. Or it could just be that Ive been single for 3 years and just need a girl friend??? lol who knows!? I may not be any happier there but at least it would be some where new. I love the vast open country up north. Im a lil sick of all the mountains here. My only problem is my little girl. I dont want to leave her. I would be 500 miles away! I get to see her about 1 and some time twice a week now. If I moved I would get her 9 weeks for summer 1 week for spring and 1 week for christmas. So I would prob come out better. Well I guess the real reason I posted this was to get some friendly feed back and opinions. I just cant make up my mind what to do!!??????????????????????????????????????????????? Question

hmm.....well if it was me bambam even though i'd be real unhappy i'd stay around and stick it out until my kid got older...i mean old enough understand stuff like this because if she was still real young then i wouldnt wanna move away like that because i wouldnt wanna risk damaging my relationship with her...i just wouldnt wanna put a young kid through that kinda stuff until she was old enough (like 13 or 14) to understand stuff like that.

But hey i'm only 20 yrs old so what do i kno, i still live at home w/ my dad hehe...maybe Chips, Toughy, ya kno some of the old folks around here will have some better advice, cause they've been around the block about a million times already lol Razz

First off, I'd look into this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764553224/sr=8-1/qid=1150416982/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-5663083-5408127?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Then I'd do what you feel you should do, I can't imagine staying in a place for more then 3 years, but I've moved every 2-3 years my whole life because of the air force so it's just part of me now. But in the end it's up to you.

If you want to move you might want to try Houston and bring one of these bad boys, and invite Demasu to an enlightening ball game.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000CDJV3/qid=1150435432/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-1017538-5868128?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=3375251
But in all honesty, I think you should stay with your girl.

I'll tell you one thing, Houston is bad for your health, seriously, there's this brown haze over the city most of the time. I'm glad I'll only be here for another year. And baseball sucks, that's right you heard me, I played the game up until 6th grade, I can call it bad.

Forum Medic Joined: 05 Jun 2006 Posts: 243

hate to see you but as being 53 years old and haveing a little girl imoved and i didnt get to see her but two times a year and you dont know how much you missed till you are alway little girls grow up fast
and you will miss so much and they wont unterstain why you left them
my little girl use to ask me all the time why she couldnt see me as much
and she would cry when she had to go back home this realy hurt me
i didnt get to go to her school plays or see her grow up because each time i seen her she was biger and told me about things she did that i missed
and i missed a lot she now 22 and i havent seen her in 6 years,iam not you but if i was i would stay at lest till she 16 and injoy every day i have with her you will never know what you missed till its gone,and as far as where you live i live in the woods of sc there nothing for 20 miles from my house no one i have no way to any where i live with my bother and he
works all the time, lift alabama when the strom hit and lost everything
i dont even have a car so i can get a job i set here on my computer most of the time with no way to so i know you should beable to hold out till
she is at lest 16 and she will understain more than,but dont miss the time yiou have with her it will meain alot to her and you belive me
Sad

ghoat53

Hmmm Bam, broken family. Yes, I know that situation well. Speaking firsthand, I can say this. Your daughter will always love you, but alas, you will not always get along. Also, she will hit a certain age that, even if she lived in your house, she will hate, despise and ignore you. (its called hormones)
So, what to do. Welp, you made 1 right move by divorcing (assuming you were married in the 1st place) as no child needs to live in a loveless home.
But now, look at the facts. If your daughters mother moves on (if she hasnt, she 1 day will) then her new man will be the father figure in her life as she will see him almost 24/7. You are going to be fighting an uphll battle the rest of your life on this one. Add in to that factors like, does the mother add to the rift between you and your daughter by constantly bad mouthing you to her, either on purpose or just matter of factly.
Either way, it will be up to you and your daughter to combat that whenever you are together. But, be warned, as she gets older, regardless of where you and she live, it will be a roller coaster of emotions between the 2 of you.
When I got divorced, I made sure I lived less then a mile from my kids. Truth is, it didnt matter.
Yes, I see 2 of my kids on a somewhat regular basis, but I believe even if I moved 1000 mils away I would see them about the same amount of time. (maybe not as frequently, but when I did see them, Im sure it would be in larger blocks of time)
Seriously Bam, its not easy at all and Im sure rips your heart out at times.....I think thats normal. You can only hope that as they get older, they will see that you tried your best and that circumstances beyond your control didnt help your relationship between father and child.

No, as far as you moving, lemme say this about that. DO IT!!! You have got to be happy at some point in your life. You staying somewhere that makes you miserable will only lead you to an early grave. You will postpone everything in your life if you drag this on too much longer. Also, your misery will eat away at your relationship with your daughter as in time, you will come to resent your situation and inadvertantly, blame your daughter for how your life went.

Ok, I know Im no expert on all of this, and they dont write books on the whole torrid situation, but know this Bam......yes, some of us noticed you werent around, and 2, that Im PMing you my phone #. Call it if you wanna talk. I might have all the answers, but Ive been there and done that, and might be able to help ya.

^5
Ant

While i'm too young to have children of my own, my own philosophy on the subject:
Once you had a child, your life became about it. I think you would miss alot of things in your daughter's life that you would regret. However I do think some internal peace is necessary too... and I have no clue what solution to offer.
Good luck and best of wishes to whatever decision you make dude.

First off thank you for the opinions. I DO appreciate them. But I do need to add a small detail that I left out..There was one other reason for the possible move, I also met a girl while I was there( my cousin's best friend) We went out 1 day and talked alot the day before. Now I know thats not long to know some one but I really fell head over heels for this girl. After I got home I called her 3 days later and told her that I really missed her and I wanted to move back and that she was a big part of why. She told me that I would be really crazy to do that, 1-she is in a relationship(just a bf) and even though they are having a LOT of trouble she wasnt sure where thier relationship would end up. 2-She said that even if they did break up then she would not jump stright back into another relationship, She said she would just want to spend some time with her son(a beautiful baby boy named Aiden)and let him be the only guy in her life. She told me If I moved up there not to do it for her. And I respect that and thats why I left it out of my first post. but the more I think about it....Its still a part of the reason I would move. BTW NO XXX acts happened between us.

Forum H4xor Joined: 05 Oct 2005 Posts: 1172

I think moving would be a good call if it makes you happy, even if it is for the girl. Because at least you know what you're getting yourself into. The friendship can be exactly what you need to get back out there in the "social" scene. But in all honesty, a relationship shouldn't be what makes you happy. You can't make someone else happy until you're happy.

As far as your daughter goes. I agree with what someone else had said earlier. It depends upon your relationship with the mom. I'm assuming the mom will have custody of the daughter so she'll have whatever it is that the mom tells her. Regardless of what you may or may not do, i.e. phone calls every day, cards, letters. I know this because my brother has been in the court systems for over 5 years fighting for his daughter. But his daughter is at the point where she doesn't even want to talk to him because the only "father" she knew was the step-dad. Since my bro's in the AF, he is stationed all over the place and his ex is very uncooperative. Hopefully this won't be your situation though. But whatever your choice is, best of luck!